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Thursday, January 27, 2005

If Only ...


Grandfather's Writing Desk, to left,
and Grandmother Johnson, 1950s.


I removed the last screw and eased off the moulding so as to tease-out the hidden treasure. A small, and slightly bulging, brown envelope now rested in my hand. Its dusty and spotted appearance easily gave away its age. A name from the past, “Mrs Johnson”, my grandmother, was handwritten in ink on the front.


The “Mrs Johnson” Envelope

With wide-eyes I excitedly lifted the unsealed flap to reveal a small bundle of neatly folded papers tucked away inside. My grandparents died in the 1970’s so this envelope hasn’t seen the light of day for thirty, maybe even fifty years, or more.


My Grandparents -
Dick "Darda" Johnson
Eva "Marma" Johnson

This experience was that sort of unique moment I had long anticipated: the chance discovery of important family papers, hitherto, unseen for donkey’s years. It was a moment to be shared so I took the envelope with its secret contents to my wife so we could savour the moment together. Ahhh! I sighed, this will be something!

"If only you had some personal family papers," responded the present owner of "Newtown". I had just expressed to her my frustration in being so removed from the past, so detached from appreciating with any sense of an intimate understanding, the events of its early pioneering period. I have been researching “Newtown”, a rural property once belonging to my Taylor ancestors from 1839 to 1904.


"Newtown" Homestead, c.1900.
Built at Vacy, NSW, in the 1840s.


Are there any old papers? I have been able to find the usual, like statutory records concerning property titles and conveyances. There are some excellent Maitland Mercury references, but otherwise only two photos from about 1900 and a land survey of 1901. So, that is it, so far. If only I had more. If only some one had kept some papers. If only my third great-grandfather James Taylor had kept a journal. If only… If only…

Three years ago I decided to keep a journal and am now into my ninth volume representing well over 1000 personalised pages. They include many curious and incidental events of ‘life as me’ (I can be such a pain to live with), including the highs and lows of my spiritual life. There are also life’s highlights involving the immediate and extended family and friends.

These hard-covered books are a loosely organised, eclectic compendium of the when-s, what-s and why-fors, of the who, whom, whose, witches (oops, none of those) which-s and that-s. Therein, I have also placed recent letters from around the world, transcriptions of other letters from the 1940s, being those written by my great-grandmother in London while she was getting bombed by the Germans.


Great Grandmother Zerada Taylor's
Recipe:
"Brown Pudding" (pre 1950)


There are also drawings, diagrams, sketches, handmade gift-cards, old and new photographs, biographies, genealogies, even a fragment from great-grandmother Zerada (Patfield) Taylor’s recipe collection: “Brown Pudding”. All up, in one form or another, information spans eight generations. While it is fun to do, and a great aid to improving my handwriting, my hope is it will give an understanding of my times, and more.

And what of that crusty old envelope? I took it into my wife and nervously woke her up (which she wasn’t so excited about) and we extracted the contents together. And there they were, after decades of being lost in a gap between the shelving and the body of my grandfather’s writing desk, six smaller and empty envelopes with “J3” written on the front. If only! If only! If only!

Anyway, I will keep up my hand-written journal ‘for posterity’, and also this blog. Perhaps you may do or be doing the same, in your own way. If so, then I would love to hear about your journaling experiences and paper treasures.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Note: My research on “Newtown”, to date, will be presented in the evening of 3rd February at the monthly meeting of Paterson Historical Society, at the Paterson Courthouse Museum
For a detailed commentary on my practice of journaling, see Do you keep a Hand-written Journal?

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

“Brown Pudding”
A recipe of Paterson resident
Zerada Mary Taylor (1870 - 1956)

1 Cup Sugar,
1 Tablespoon Dripping
3 Teaspoonfuls Jam
2 Eggs
½ Cup of Milk
1 ½ Cup Flour
1 Teaspoon Soda.

Steam Two Hours.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

The Wandering Moleskine Project

I figure others like me may wish to contribute to the WMP. Its a great idea and worthy of our effort. When you get your chance to do your page maybe you will see mine there, or I yours. In any event it will be great to see what has been contributed by others around the globe.

The Wandering Moleskine Project

Kelly, over at home is where one starts from has done some nice stuff in her own moleskine -- check out her pen and ink post.

If you want to get hold of your own Moleskine then have a looksee here at Moleskine. There is a suppliers list there somewherzaboutz. I am going to chase one up myself.

Have fun!


Monday, January 17, 2005

Beheld

An icon,
guilded,
finely crafted,
held in my hands.

A fragrance,
Gently strong,
Uniquely accented,
Touches my senses.

Nuances,
Dulcet tones,
Proclaim
Her presence.

An icon,
A fragrance,
A Nuance,
Presently uplift her.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

The Lad and the Elder One

“Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all--he is the greatest."

"I saw two figures standing: One tall and authoritative, but not demanding. He was gentle and kind, and held a very welcoming and compassionate disposition. The other was a young Lad, not yet in puberty, having his gaze fixed upon the 'Elder' as he looked up. The Lad's look was one of trust, yet reflected an inner uncertainty. This Lad was looking to the Elder for reassurance and love, for hope and direction.

There was a bond between these two persons; no contention, just unity. Their hearts were together and they knew peace.

The Elder stood next to the Lad on his left side, and slightly facing inward. His left hand held the Lad's left forearm, just under the wrist, and slightly projected his arm forward so the boy was slightly reaching, and pointing. The Elder's right arm rested gently on this boy's right shoulder, in a reassuring manner. They stood close; no words were spoken except for those silent ones shared between two people who love each other.

In this scene they were entirely alone, no distance behind, no sides, nothing except them standing there in contentment and peace. The Elder was showing the boy which way they will be going together. The boy knew he could trust the Elder One. And so they stood in this moment of commitment and trust, the bond between them assured and total."


Some might say that what I 'saw' about the Lad and the Elder One was a vision. Well, in my view, it could have been--or maybe not--but as I don't know the 'Biblical definition' of a vision I can't say. What I do know is that what I related above came to me twelve months ago, in the context of quiet prayer before God's throne of grace, in the afternoon of 8th January, 2004. I see no reason to consider it an invention of my mind or wishful thinking, as some may feel a need to claim.

I related this 'vision' to my wife and our two friends RA + LA when we were meeting together, as usual, and we explored about its content. But it was on the way home that my wife raised the issue of the time of my new birth in Jesus when I was an 11 year old, on 9th August 1966. It seemed to fit so well and so I have no reason to doubt that the Lord is showing me and reassuring me that I do walk his path, even in my frailty and weakness, and that He has set the path and leads me onward, that he is with me in every respect.


I read is Scripture where, at another time, he encouraged one of his saints, who wrote, "he placed his right hand on me and said: 'Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades' ". Elsewhere He encourages, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of [the enemy], for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you," and, "In the day of salvation I will help you, I will keep you .... He who has compassion on [his covenant people] will guide them and lead them beside springs of water".

And so, I remain totally in His care and under His compassionate authority. He knows the way ahead, just as He knows the beginning from the end. In Him I can put my total confidence, despite how I feel or what is before me known or unknown. I need not worry if some reject me, and/or abuse me, and/or condemn me in their blindness and own frailty. I can confidently walk in the way He has set, and know with absolute certainty, He is with me always.

Praise His Name forever.


"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

~~~~~~

The above is an adapted from my personal journal, Vol 6.21 and 6.23, of Friday, January 9th, 2004.
References: Revelation 1:17,18; Deuteronomy 31:6; Isaiah 49:8, 10; Luke 9:47-48; Matthew 28:20.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Ascended

The numbing, depleting...
Waiting for that pulse,
that rush that never comes.


The gasping, breathing...
Hoping despite the signs,
with futility pressing down.


The slipping, falling...
Finding lifeless surrounds,
sealed by unmet expectations.


Then, the ascension...
Leaving the noxious mess,
that assaults the soul made innocent.


Nothing can touch me...
Violence apprehended, discarded,
eliminated and forgotten.


Purity in white robes...
Standing cleansed and upright
engulfed within eternal brilliance.


Sunday, January 02, 2005

What Am I doing? Who Am I Being?

The Lord will keep us from all harm,
he will watch over our life.
The Lord will watch over
our coming and our going,
both now and forevermore.


The tragic events of the tsunami have left me feeling shocked, numb and useless, on the one hand, while still confident that God is not an ugly, capricious and loveless tyrant, on the other. On these things there seems so much that can be said, and a whole lot that is simply unsayable.

Where to from here?

At the front end of this year,
after the times that have been,
before the times that are yet to come,
I have much to think and re-think:
about what will be 'my times',
about what will come and what will go.

I need to ensure my heart and life
are in step with the Master
through listening to him whenever he speaks,
through whatever means,
even through tsunamis, and
especially through his Son the Word.

I need to conform my life
to him and his wisdom;
only then will that which I offer,
in word and deed, be of any consequence,
or of any worth to humanity
in its present dreadful plight.

What am I doing?
Who am I being?


To be sure,
Much more meditation and much praying,
Much much much less of me,
all the more, even everthing of Him and only Him.

It is then that I will understand more clearly
and live a life worthy of the Name.

~~~

The Word speaks:

(Ecclesiastes 3)

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil?



I have seen the burden God has laid on men.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
yet they cannot fathom
what God has done
from beginning to end.

I know
that there is nothing better for men
than to be happy and do good while they live.
that everyone may eat and drink,
and find satisfaction in all his toil


this is the gift of God.

I know
that everything God does will endure forever;
nothing can be added to it
and nothing taken from it.


God does it so that men will revere him.

Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.

~~~~~~~~~~
(Please forgive the above rather feeble attempt to express some heart-felt things that seem so unexpressible -- even blogging has its limitations )