My Primrose
I was out running, this morning,
My hands freezing at the end of my t-shirt,
Just as the delicate primrose bravely shrugged off the cold,
Stretching in bloom in a glimpse of the early sun.
The crocus and daffodil are just appearing, and
Proudly stand in the lanes among my primrose.
Sue has had the last of her chemotherapy.
Whilst she is still suffering, and very bald,
At least that part is over, and
We look forward to a steady improvement.
For the last three months it has been cold and wet.
We are looking forward to Spring with the sunshine.
Profound in her abounding beauty, She, who I love,
Reminds me that life is unfolding, just as it should.
The cold will soon be a distant memory,
It will never have its way forever.
Of them all, the Primrose is my favourite. She smiles,
As She marks the end of winter, the start of new life.
~~~~~
Written by Peter Johnson, February, 2004. Newcastle, NSW, Australia,
Inspired by and adapted fro the writings of Richard M-P
And by the strength of his beloved wife, Sue.
… for them both and for their children.
_________
“It has been cold and wet for the last three months and we are looking forward to Spring. The crocus and daffodil are just starting to appear as are the primroses in the lanes. I was out running this morning, my hands freezing at the end of my t-shirt, admiring how the delicate primrose shrugs off the cold morning to get a glimpse of the early sun before it gets swallowed by the grey winter clouds. The primrose is my favourite flower because it marks the end of winter and reminds me that life is unfolding just as it should.
Sue (wife) has had her last chemotherapy treatment and whilst she is still suffering and very bald, at least that part is over and now we can look forward to a steady improvement. She has been mighty brave and is an inspiration to me and her staff. She decided quite early on to stay at work, and brave the looks and stares. She occasionally comes home early for a sleep but has been very resilient. We're both fed up with talking about cancer and look forward to a time when it is a distant memory. …[she is] Still smiling, bless her.”
(c) Richard M-P 2004, email to Peter Johnson, 18 February 2004.
My hands freezing at the end of my t-shirt,
Just as the delicate primrose bravely shrugged off the cold,
Stretching in bloom in a glimpse of the early sun.
The crocus and daffodil are just appearing, and
Proudly stand in the lanes among my primrose.
Sue has had the last of her chemotherapy.
Whilst she is still suffering, and very bald,
At least that part is over, and
We look forward to a steady improvement.
For the last three months it has been cold and wet.
We are looking forward to Spring with the sunshine.
Profound in her abounding beauty, She, who I love,
Reminds me that life is unfolding, just as it should.
The cold will soon be a distant memory,
It will never have its way forever.
Of them all, the Primrose is my favourite. She smiles,
As She marks the end of winter, the start of new life.
~~~~~
Written by Peter Johnson, February, 2004. Newcastle, NSW, Australia,
Inspired by and adapted fro the writings of Richard M-P
And by the strength of his beloved wife, Sue.
… for them both and for their children.
_________
“It has been cold and wet for the last three months and we are looking forward to Spring. The crocus and daffodil are just starting to appear as are the primroses in the lanes. I was out running this morning, my hands freezing at the end of my t-shirt, admiring how the delicate primrose shrugs off the cold morning to get a glimpse of the early sun before it gets swallowed by the grey winter clouds. The primrose is my favourite flower because it marks the end of winter and reminds me that life is unfolding just as it should.
Sue (wife) has had her last chemotherapy treatment and whilst she is still suffering and very bald, at least that part is over and now we can look forward to a steady improvement. She has been mighty brave and is an inspiration to me and her staff. She decided quite early on to stay at work, and brave the looks and stares. She occasionally comes home early for a sleep but has been very resilient. We're both fed up with talking about cancer and look forward to a time when it is a distant memory. …[she is] Still smiling, bless her.”
(c) Richard M-P 2004, email to Peter Johnson, 18 February 2004.
4 Comments:
you said you would value my comments, so i am commenting! although i always feel a little strange commenting on other people's poetry because it's so personal, and i feel there is great scope for me to offend you, unintentionally.
firstly, i liked the combination of the 2 ideas, so much more interesting than just writing about one thing. and the beginning line i like especially, the strange matter-of-fact way it was told reminded me of the poems by simon armitage (do you know him?). the subject matter is obviously a very delicate one, so all i will say is this, you may be bordering on overly-romantic, but the feeling behind it seems to be sincere.
oh and i like the way you swapped the narrative for "we" to "i" at various points.
i commend your bravery at posting poems on your blog!
Hey Captain!
Thanks for checking this out, and leaving your comments. Please feel free to do so on any of my poetry, or even other posts, anytimeat all. I respect both you and your opinion even if it is adversely critical. Can't learn without help, so please tell it like it is. And please don't be concerned about my poems being personal to me -- that's the way they are and as it should be. I assure you you won't offend me.
I don't know abour Simon Armitage, but perhaps I should look him up. I don't read much published poetry, just an anthalogy here and there, and online stuff at PoetryCafes. I do have a few poetry books and some are academic, such as Alice S. Landy's "The Heath Intro to Literature", 4th Ed. Don't read them much, tho, don't have the time.
You did say that "the subject matter is obviously a very delicate one .... you may be bordering on overly-romantic," Does the "romantic" aspect relate to the way the duality of the difficult/delicate subject matters treated or has it to do with the general style and tone of the poem? Maybe your term "romantic" is a technical terms for poetry. Could that be the case. WOuld love you to expand further, if you wouldn't mind.
As to posting on this blog... and bravery... I really don’t mind posting here. If people maliciously bag-out my poetry then too bad, it doesn’t really bother me, it maybe even to their loss. If someone is blessed by what I have written then that is great, wonderful, they are why I do what I do.
Oh yeah... When I wrote "Hey Captain" I was reminded of Capt. Mainwaring of Dad's Army. Sharyn and I have been watching the series here... we just love them, they crack us up beyond measure sometimes. Maybe I am just a silly old bugger (blogger?)?
Thanks for blogging by.
Peter.
um... romantic poetry i guess usually refers to guys like wordsworth and keats... but thats not really what i meant. i think i meant that the flower/person comparason seemed well... a little simple? you seem to be hailing both as infinately good and strong and beautiful, without really getting much deeper into it?
you say a few things about cold not lasting forever, and new life and such, without actually explaining yourself, which could be seen as just writing those things as romantic optimism without actually thinking it through.
(um... you did ask me to expand... ;)
G'day Captain. !PP
Yes, I understand what you are saying, which I think is ... the poem is entirely optimistic with no concrete substantiation as to why. The concepts expressed look through eyes which are 'crocus and daffodil' coloured, one might say. The language appears flowery, excuse the pun, and lacks realistic substance. It got me thinking and made me wonder if it could even appear as rather platitudinous, to some.
I suppose I am drawing heavily on a reader's pre-exisitng awareness of the inherent strength and power, evident in the natural realm, as seen the emerging season of spring which is the unstated backdrop to the poem. Could this dependancy on the reader's life-experience be a reasonable and acceptable 'explanation' of things, ie. does/can personal experience act as a concrete and real sub-text referant, so common to all (most), in such a way that no further explanation is needed?
This idea of 'romantic' is an interesting concept for me to consider.
Thanks for your input, Captain. Any further comments are very welcome.
!PP
(!PP = poetpete saluting, as no salutory smiley is available. Dang!)
Post a Comment
<< Home